Yesterday would have been my Mother's 93rd birthday. Yesterday I ordered my cap and gown and confirmed I would be walking in the May graduation ceremony. Today I am reflecting on the journey I have been on since I decided to return to school. One week from today I will install my BFA exhibit. The past, the present, the future. These three things are the never-ending thread that weave their way through our lives affecting us in many ways. Most of us spend way too much time thinking of the past or dreaming of the future and precious little time on the present where we can really make a difference. I do like to reflect on the past occasionally because it helps me place things in context and allows me to appreciate how things have unfolded.
I enrolled in college a month after my Mother passed away, it was the first step in moving into a new role for me and leaving the role of caregiver behind. During my education my oldest daughter got married, my youngest graduated from college and moved out, I had both my hips replaced and now my oldest is expecting my first grandchild. A lot of learning and a lot of life have happened to me in these past 5 years, not all of it easy, in fact most of it was hard, really hard. But that does not make it bad. I think it is the really challenging things that show you who you are, what you are made of, what you can do. You can't allow fear, whether it is the fear of failure or the fear of being challenged, to keep you from growing. A good teacher of mine once said," There are two things that are sure to keep you down, fear and gravity." If I had allowed the fear of change to keep me from enrolling in college 5 years ago I wouldn't be standing right now in this amazing "present" I have created.
When it came time to think about what my concept would be for my BFA exhibit it was a bit overwhelming. As I thought about it the realization came to me that my art usually has a biographical component to it, if it doesn't express how I feel about something it expresses how I feel about something I experienced. I decided to document the changes I have gone through in my 5 years completing my degree. One particular grouping, Seasons of Life, has a lot of emotional importance to me. It consists of 3 portrait busts, one of my oldest daughter and expectant mommie, one of myself and one of my Mother. I utilized the Celtic symbolism of the Maiden, Mother, Crone, the symbolism of birds and trees, and the inspiration of the Stevie Nicks song Landslide to pull all the feelings and emotions together.
I enrolled in college a month after my Mother passed away, it was the first step in moving into a new role for me and leaving the role of caregiver behind. During my education my oldest daughter got married, my youngest graduated from college and moved out, I had both my hips replaced and now my oldest is expecting my first grandchild. A lot of learning and a lot of life have happened to me in these past 5 years, not all of it easy, in fact most of it was hard, really hard. But that does not make it bad. I think it is the really challenging things that show you who you are, what you are made of, what you can do. You can't allow fear, whether it is the fear of failure or the fear of being challenged, to keep you from growing. A good teacher of mine once said," There are two things that are sure to keep you down, fear and gravity." If I had allowed the fear of change to keep me from enrolling in college 5 years ago I wouldn't be standing right now in this amazing "present" I have created.
When it came time to think about what my concept would be for my BFA exhibit it was a bit overwhelming. As I thought about it the realization came to me that my art usually has a biographical component to it, if it doesn't express how I feel about something it expresses how I feel about something I experienced. I decided to document the changes I have gone through in my 5 years completing my degree. One particular grouping, Seasons of Life, has a lot of emotional importance to me. It consists of 3 portrait busts, one of my oldest daughter and expectant mommie, one of myself and one of my Mother. I utilized the Celtic symbolism of the Maiden, Mother, Crone, the symbolism of birds and trees, and the inspiration of the Stevie Nicks song Landslide to pull all the feelings and emotions together.
My Mother Marjorie looks down in reflection at her life gone by, she smiles wistfully as the furrows of years of worry over 7 children line her face. The swan, the celtic bird that carries the soul to the afterlife, nestles her shoulder comfortingly. A pine tree, the symbol of everlasting life, reminds us that one never really dies.
Wrapped in a mantle of the favorite tree of my childhood growing up in Illinois, I look confidently forward unafraid of who I am but still silently wondering "can I handle the seasons of my life." A small owlet, the celtic bird of the crone and a symbol of wisdom peeks out of the tree. Two trees intertwine to create the base, representing my husband and I, the foundation that allows me to grow.
My daughter Lauren, sometimes called Wren, is represented with a Carolina wren and a nest with eggs. She is looking up and out towards her life most of which lies ahead of her. Represented by Spring moving into Summer, she is full of hope and optimism.
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